The Worst Dream I've Ever had.

[Jason]

I kissed my sweetheart goodnight last night and held her as we fell asleep. The next thing I knew, I was locked in a dream that felt like complete reality.

I had a dream that she and I were together at a store looking at movies. I don't know where we were, but we were having a great time. I don't know what happened, but the next thing I know, I'm up in her apartment pacing back and forth. I had no idea what to do, all I knew was that she had died and I was completely overwhelmed with a sadness that I truly have never felt before in all my life. There is no way at all to describe in words the way I felt in that dream. I was pacing, thinking. I had a feeling of complete emptiness. I felt like life should not go on without her. I remember praying to God to be able to talk to her one last time. I prayed and prayed. But no answer from Him. I called her phone until it reached her voice mail message. Hearing her voice in that message on her phone was all I had left of her beautiful voice. I was hysterical. I felt completely insane. My emotions were off the wall with a sadness I had never felt before. And then I awoke next to her.

I immediately grabbed her and hugged her. She awoke and was really worried because I was acting so strange. I told her my dream and all she did was hug me. That's all I wanted at that point. I always knew that I couldn't live without her. But this experience was out of this world. It's almost as if I know that very feeling of what life could be without her. It's the worst pain and sadness I have ever felt in all my life. And this was just a dream.

[Man in Black]

I really believe that sometimes things like this happen for a reason. Sounds like she is meant to be truly important to you. It also falls in line with a philosophy that I tend to live by and that's the appreciation for the beauty of decay - Meaning that life is in a constant state of decay and rebirth. It is an intricate balance of relativity. We would constantly take everything beautiful and meaningful for granted if we did not have loss and death to contrast it with.

I guess that we all experience this process on some scale even on a day to day basis, but it hit me as an epiphany of sorts when my Dad died. I realized just how wonderful and precious our time together was and still is. His death magnified all my favorite memories and also made me think about things we had said to each other that I wished we could take back.

Now I tend to breathe in the good moments longer while making an effort to make the bad times easier by accepting them and not saying things that I know I'll regret later. Your dream could be such a moment in your life if you let it.

[Jason]

I know exactly what you mean. It still has the effect on me. It just makes me wish we could live forever.

[Man in Black]

I want to live forever less and less the older I get LOL LOL LOL ;D ;D ;D

[DeserTPunK]

That must have been a sucky dream. I would have been a nervous wreck the whole next day. Had a dream like that once about my mother.

[Jason]

Yep. I was nervous for the remainder of the day and all throughout the next day. Not quite as bad the next day, but I was still worried.